The Gift of Go

I am living in the moments that will make up my last few days in Phoenix. I have lived other places over the years, but they were always temporary. Phoenix has always been home. Not a home I have loved or cherished, but home in the sense that this is where my community has been, my family. Two years ago I bought my own home, further planting me in this community. And now I am pulling up my roots of the last 20 years in search of a new home.

I am reading an amazing book called Searching for Home, by M. Craig Barnes, one of my favorite authors. It was a book I bought for someone else, but was definitely meant for me in this time - a reminder that as a Christian, home will never be found on earth, but only in eternity with Christ. Some of my favorite lines...

"...the right place isn't something you choose, but a place that chooses you, molds you, and tells you who you are."

"...there is no way to find home without leaving home. It is a grace to be told to go."

"...the redemption we are offered by God results only in becoming a purer form of ourselves."


It seems that the hardest things often bring the greatest gifts and blessings. My dad dying over three years ago was devestating, but has brought a lot of freedom...perhaps because it is easier to forgive those that are gone. Owning a home has not been the American Dream for me with leaking roofs and backed-up sewer lines, but owning it has made me wealthier than I started and afforded me the luxury of becoming a full-time student again. And this move to a new place has been difficult. Lots of anxiety and reluctant goodbyes. I don't know what the end will look like...it is many years down the road, but I sit here with great expectations of the transformation that is about to begin (as well as a little dread for the rough roads that will inevitably be taken on this new journey).